Tomorrow's News

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Tomorrow's News

Post  numero-uno on Wed Mar 19, 2008 4:57 am

Here is tomorrow's news, presented here today, Wednesday 19th March 2008.

At a meeting in Brussels today, which is about to take place later this afternoon, EU representatives, which include sixteen dignitaries from ASH, and seventy four representatives from the world's largest pharmaceutical companies, will be debating the impact of smoke-free environments.

Needless to say, both sides of the argument will be/were, well represented, and opposing the EUs experts was the solitary figure of none other than Mr Simon Clark of FOREST.

The EUs experts put their case forward for further expansion of the smoking ban, to include banning smoking within a 3 mile radius of any public building, as defined as being both public and privately owned properties. Heavier fines, up to 5,000, for anyone seen smoking in public, and shop keepers having to apply for a licence, costing 8,500, to sell tobacco products. The shopkeeper would automatically lose their licence, and face imprisonment if found selling more than one packet of cigarettes to any customer at any given time.

Smoking in front of a minor, is also to be outlawed, with parents facing imprisonment, a heavy fine and their children taken into care, if they flout this law.

Duty on tobacco products throughout the EU is to increase in line with UK duties, which are the highest in the world.

The reason behind these new changes in the law, is the overpowering public demand for cleaner air. Mr Patrick O'Lair of ASH, stated that since the ban came into place last July, deaths from tobacco related diseases have fallen by up to 97%. Hans Smolgenblaster, of Reichmaster Pharmaceuticals, DM, also stated that sales of anti smoking products have increased 900% since the ban, which means that people are becoming more and more health conscious, and the demand is growing every day.

All in all, the opposition to these new proposals, was practically non existent, with the exception of the lone voice of Mr Simon Clark, of FOREST, who complained that he had been given a smaller chair than all the other delegates, which meant, he said, that he could neither be seen or heard above the other 90 members.

Our reporter at the meeting doesn't recall Mr Clark bringing this up, nor even seeing him there come to that. The meeting ended on a cheerful note, when brandy and cigars were passed round to everyone. Happy faces all round then? Well almost?
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Re: Tomorrow's News

Post  Admin on Wed Mar 19, 2008 7:15 am

Well done Numero-Uno.

The only problem is, that what you have written here, is 99% the truth.
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